And we're back

17 days later, I know, I know. Terrible, but now full of sarcasm and wit and rid of a Master's thesis. Life is grand.

More later......

74 Pages of Glossy Gossip Goodness

Is it sad that I really can't make it through the Page Six Magazine in one sitting? There is only so much gossip one person can take, but frankly, its not even that great. [NYP]

SuperBowl XL Commercial Live Blog

Because anyone can live blog the game....
1st Quarter
1St Break

• Bud Light – Hiding Bud Lights in the Office, Morals Booster. Good right out of the gate – B.
• Burger King – Whopperettes – Lame, but Brooke Burke is hot - C

2nd Break

• Sierra Mist -- Kathy Griffin as TSA agent – C
• Bud Light – The Magic Fridge – Pretty funny -- B+
• 16 Blocks – Bruce Willis - I could care less
  

3rd break

• Toyota – Hybrid Camry – so lame– D
  
• FedEx – Cavemen – ehh, a small chuckle - C
• Bud Light – Brown Bear – Could have been better B-

4th Break

• V for Vendetta – so that’s why Natalie Portman looked like a man for a few months. I bet they don’t make as much money as they spent - NR
• Diet Pepsi – Jay Mohr, Diddy – Brown and Bubbly – Kinda funny take off on Entourage. Beast thing we have so far. B+

5th Break

• ALEVE – Leornard Nemoy – I thought this one was going to be a Hitler joke for a second, and that would not have been good (read: watercooler fodder tomorrow). Star Trek hand gesture - B
• Ameriquest – “That one killed him” – I actually laughed. B+
• Bud Light – Rooftop drinking – fixing a leak in the roof- B

6th Break

• Diet Pepsi – Jay Mohr, Jackie Chan – Diet Coke as a stunt double – B+
• Cars – No thanks – NR
• ABC Dancing with the stars – “wardrobe malfunction. You wish.” – B+
• SBC/AT&T – Uhhh yea. -- C

2^nd Quarter
1^st break

• Bud – Streaker – Not bad. A little confusing until the guy actually said streaker. People like animal commercials traditionally, look for this one to be popular tomorrow. B+
• Mobile ESPN – Sports Heaven – I feel like this was an “I Spy” of sports personalities. See how many you could spot. Best cameo – the bass fisherman, without a doubt. Man pulling bus – only on ESPN. B+

2nd Break

• CareerBuilder – A chuckle, but riding last years coattails, anyone? B-
• Cadillac – The new Escalade. No words, message is that the car is good looking enough to be in a fashion show. Umm, no. Besides anyone who’s buying an Escalade is drunk (so that’s 50 million people) or in a box at the game. – C

3^rd Break

• MI:3 – Tom Cruise is still insane. Timing the release with his spawn, I see. Nice move Tom. NR
• Dove – Granted, traditionally women are watching the commercials while men watch the game, but ehhh that was just dumb. And the one who thought she was fat, in fact, was. C

4^th break

• The Shaggy Dog – Berman, you’re killing me. Stop it. NR
• Ford – It’s Easy being green. Okay, I get it; I’m supposed to be driving a hybrid in the next three years. B-
• Michelob ultra amber – That was me laughing out loud. Nothing beats seeing a hot girl in a cut off football jersey. Take note, ladies. A

5th Break

• Go Daddy – Shameless – stupid. $2.5M for a strap breaking? C

6^th Break- 2:00 min warning

• Poseidon – At least a tsunami wont be controversial in that movie
• Gillette Fusion – Finally, that 5 bladed razor I desperately needed. C

7^th Break

• OverStock – The overstock chick is still hot. B-

8th Break

• Disney – Does ABC give that one away for free? C

HALFTIME

• Sprint Crime Deterrent – Yes, throwing your phone in someone’s face is sort of funny. B
• Nationwide –The only logical conclusion to that commercial being funny happened. Predictability is not funny. B-
  

3^rd Quarter
1^st break

• Ameriquest – Don’t judge – While not everyone has fallen on the fat guy on the airplane, we have all tried to shimmy by him. Best commercial so far. A
• Motorola – PEBL – Lame. C
• Sharpie – Retractable – Pirates sign autographs with X’s? B

2^nd break

• Bud – baby Clydesdale can now pull the beer sleigh. Um were they going for uplifting? B-
• Nationwide – Fabio is old. A real Fabio cameo might have been funnier. B

3^rd Break

• Hummer – It’s a little monster – Weird, I think. C
• PS – The New Clean. You advertised a cleaning product on the Super Bowl??! C

4^th Break

• CareerBuilder – JackAsses -- the word jackasses made it past the censors at ABC? But it is even funnier since everyone has that guy at their office. A
• Taco Bell – That hand gesture has no place being in today’s physical lexicon. B
• Slim Fast – Aren’t we all eating like pigs today? Was that their logic? C

5^th Break

• Gillette – 5 Blades didn’t get any better.
• The World’s Fastest Indian. Actually a movie that’s now in theaters? NR
• Toyota – Tacoma – Interesting, but not plausible. B-

6^th Break

• Sprint – Music Downloads – Dumb. C
• Ford – Eddie Bauer edition – This was new? D
• Geico – Not their best performance. B

4^th Quarter

1^st break

• Degree - Stunt City – Not funny. C
• Emerald Nuts – Didn’t like it. C
• Fidelity – Paul McCartney. Old. B

2^nd Break

• Bud – Stadium Gulps down one. – B
• Pirates of the Caribbean 2 – NR
• MasterCard – MacGuever – Very good. Richard Dean Anderson > Chuck Norris? A

3^rd Break

• ESPN Mobile – Short version from earlier
• Honda Ridgeline – Maybe since I don’t have a pickup truck, I don’t get it. C
• Here’s to Beer.com – Okay, ill check it out later. Iceland chicks are hot. B

4^th Break

• World baseball classic – Yea, I’ll watch because I want the DR to kick our asses C
• Go Daddy – Same as before. PS she’s not even that hot.
• Toyota – Rav4 – that was supposed to be funny? C

5^th break

• Running Scared NR
• Outback – Stealing Boomerangs. C
• Westin – No Smoking. C

Wear Yellow

Now that Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong have split, do you think she still gets to wear a LiveStrong bracelet? [CNN]

The Devil's Spawn

What the FUCK is Kat wearing?

[GoldenFiddle]

The State of the Union is ....

Well tonight was a boring ass speech by Dubs, although he sure seemed to love making that joke that he and Bubba are the same age and Bill is his Dad's best pal. Anyone find that kinda weird? Friends with a guy 20 years his senior, if this was 50 years ago, 41 would be a pedophile. Or is this another Tuesdays With Morrie ... just putting it out there.

Speech contents: blah, blah, NSA spying was legal, democracy, liberty, Iran, nukes, Al Qaiada, blah, blah, life is precious, Sam Alito will overturn Roe, blah blah, no stem cells, but we'll cure AIDS anyway, blah, hydrogen cars (uhhh what?!), blah blah, and Iraq.

Original Wonk, Ana Marie Cox live-blogged over at the new right of CJ John Roberts Wonkette. Needless to say, I miss Ana's ass-fucking jokes involving girls and not the two new ... gentlemen.